The Eternal Internal Battles and How I Overcome Them

Lashing out in anger
Is my act of self-defence
It is the shield behind which sits
Self-doubt
Rejection
Failure
Not Good Enough
Judgement
Selfishness

This chaos, this inner mess
Because
Yet it’s like I haven’t even spent
And so, deeper I go
But suddenly, within that mess
And so with each lie my
Judgement?

Is sent from time to time
To test my mettle
And yes, it sure does

Old thoughts
Old habits
Old stories
Old feelings
Flow so quickly and easily
I am still human after all
Perfectly imperfect

Nearly 3 years working on
Self-Improvement
Mindset
Personal Growth

And I wonder
Have I truly learned anything?
Because the old mess is here again!
And I’m getting tired of cleaning her up!

My true weapon appears
One I have been crafting
Throughout this time
Honing it
Perfecting it
Just not always remembering
To actually yield it

Fear-mind tries to focus on
My heart finds the equal
And opposite reaction
And the name of this powerful offensive?
Gratitude.
When internal battles are raging
She is the most powerful weapon of all

Becomes
Gratitude for the friend who reached out last week
Self-doubt?
Becomes
Gratitude for the thanks received from others
Failure?
Becomes
Gratitude for the tasks I have accomplished
Not good enough?
Becomes
Gratitude for how far I have come
Rejection?
Becomes
Gratitude for the love that always surrounds me
Selfishness?
Becomes
Gratitude for this lesson
The absolute need to remember
That it’s not really
About me at all



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